Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
