goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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