u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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