I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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