I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
