i just wanna soil my oats bro
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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