her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
