even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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