Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
