You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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