Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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