Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
People in love make me want to vomit
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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