i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
