I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Everything about him screamed your future.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize