I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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