My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
