Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
