I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I supernannyed him into submission
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
