so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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