grandma shit on top of the toilet
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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