So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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