I will die if light touches me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
