my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I thought spray tan was a myth
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You know, something that only happens in Jersey
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the day after is always just damage control
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm always down for nudity.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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