I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
