I can tuck mytits in my pants
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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