That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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