he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In other news, I just burned my penis
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize