He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
