and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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