i wish there were pregnant emoticons
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
