In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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