This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
