it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
