That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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