Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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