who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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