After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
