That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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