the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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