At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
