Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
