one might say we're banned from that church
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
