There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
