Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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