kristin has been a bad kristin
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
