I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize