no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
In America we eat man semen.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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