He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize