i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
