He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
