I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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