and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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