is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
