i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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