glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
