I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
