I heard we made out
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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