They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
