Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
