we have officially lost it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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