people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
