It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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